CONCEPT DEVELOPMENT

Through the process of experimenting and testing different self-portrait variants, I decided not to use such straightforward and rather formal symbol as Matryoshka and try to focus on my emotions and associations more. This is quite challenging for me - to share emotions and personal stories in art, especially when it will be on the showcase, but I think it is important to be able to do that, especially I this project.

So I came up with the image of a woman in a head scarf, which is very common and symbolic in Russian art and culture, and at the same time is quite personal for me, I have my own memories and feelings connected with this image and tradition.

I thought about ways of expressing the feelings and fears I have now as a Russian person, suddenly finding myself in an absolutely chaotic, violent and terrible world. Now I live with enormous grief and sadness towards my friends and relatives in Ukraine, whose homes are being destroyed, whose people suffer and are killed, towards my loved ones in Russia, who now live in constant anxiety and pain. It is also a time for me when I reconsider my role, my responsibility (or the lack of it) in this situation, I think about guilt a lot, this position of being an aggressor or at least being considered one.

That is why I came up with this image for my animation: tears of pain and grief turning red, like blood, reminding of the aggressive role Russians have now, how I might be perceived in the world now and how sometimes I look at myself, questioning, if I am also guilty for the tragedy happening right now.

IPMP Through A Lense

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